These past few days were a rollercoaster. They felt like I was pushed from the cliff and then saved a few feet before the ultimate fall. My adrenaline levels have been so high and my heart has been thumping so loudly I constantly feared someone could hear it.
I’m not going to go into details because the last time I mentioned something specific, a friend of mine at school, who I didn’t know read my blog, joined the dots and realized that I was the face behind the blog. I don’t really know why but it makes me a little uncomfortable when people I know and talk to in real life read my thoughts. It’s all somehow strange to me. I want to be a mystery, because hey everyone likes a good mystery but then I feel bad when people ask me about my blog and I refuse to give them the link. I would like to show you me, but not now maybe a few years down in line or maybe even more years later. But not now.
So as I was saying, this week was a rollercoaster, and rollercoasters are amazing. The things I did this week pushed me way out of my comfort zone. It felt like I was drowning for a while. The waves were crashing over me, refusing to give me air, prompting me to let go. The feeling of me sinking and drowning over and over again just because I was doing things I wanted to check off my bucket list. It was so mentally draining. But fortunately I am surrounded by people who love me and support me continuously and are always there for me. So I didn’t be another titanic, I pushed and kicked my way out of these giant waves and saw sunlight. And oh how good that felt, to breathe freely when you’ve been drowning for a while.
I did a lot of things that made me proud of myself, and oh let me tell you it’s a wonderful feeling. It feels like extra cheese pizza and fluffy pillows. I literally took the Monday off this week and slept like a bear and gained all the energy that I lost during my exam week.
This week taught me lessons. It taught me to be brave. There’s no better feeling in the world than being there for yourself, knowing that you won’t give up on yourself no matter what. I am grateful for the amazing people I’m surrounded with, who constantly help me put my bricks back with love and encouragement when I begin to collapse.
I hope you had an amazing week as well. Remember to always be there for yourself. Remember to love yourself. Because you deserve sunflowers, not one but a whole field of them.
Mic drop
Ash
Universe Of The Unspoken 