Summer keeps trying to crawl in but the Winter continues being dominant. If you were to enter into my room at any point in the day, you’d get lost. It looks like a landfill. Nothing is where it’s supposed to be and everything is everywhere. Since it’s exam season I’ve become a hermit. The only time I leave my room is when I have to make coffee or use the bathroom. I fall asleep too often because of the amount of reading I’ve been doing and also because of the chilled weather.
I finished reading ‘Never Always Sometimes’ the other day by Ali Alsaid. It’s not one of those books that have an impact on you or get you thinking. If I were to be honest I’d say the book was too tiring to continue at page 78. It was a slow read, nevertheless I kept picking it up to read when I was supposed to be preparing for my sociology final. It talked about clichés and high school romances and it was ironic how the book was against clichés but the plot was a big cliché in itself. I loved the adventures that Julia and Dave went on and it was refreshing but my mental state being a slump didn’t really let me enjoy the book to the most. Ugh. I’m halfway through ‘Everything, Everything’ by Nicola Yoon. I think I’m falling for the whole forbidden lovers vibe I’m getting from that book.
I went to El’s house to have a change of scenery. We painted a whole page full of random things (I painted with my left hand because I was eating cereal with the other) and had coffee and listened to songs and that was all the therapy I needed. I walked around aimlessly for a while before I went home. The sky was a mix of mauve and tangerine that day and it looked like a dissolving lush bath bomb.
I’ve been falling in love with everything around me a lot often. With the sky varaitions, with a book, with a thought or a quote, a song and mostly with myself. The me last February was sad during Valentine’s day because I had no date, this year on the 14th I had my sociology paper and after that I went to a garden and swinged with two of my friends for a couple of hours, had ice cream and couple of chocolates, did some bird watching and went home satisfied and feeling loved. Me a year ago was looking for love and was hungry for it. But now I realised I had all the love I needed with me all along.
February has been a good month till now. Egg visited, I’ve spent quality time with my close friends including El, explored my own city a little. The weather is just the way I like it. I’ve been productive and I’m learning to keep my anxiety at bay. I’ve read a couple of books and found new songs that I love. Everything has been feeling right. More than right. Sometimes I’m afraid it’ll all go downhill now that I feel like I’m at my peak. But till the time comes, I’ll just enjoy the scenery from up here.
Also I have only two finals left yay.
I hope you have an amazing February :))