things i need at 11:37 pm on a Tuesday night

i want to sit in an over crowded train in this humid weather near a window and try to read the book in my hands over the loud chatter of many voices

to have a swinging competition with El in the garden of my apartment premises till we both feel nauseous and decide to walk to a store so i can get my regular boxed coffee and then complain about the mosquitoes and how it’s a miracle we haven’t contracted malaria yet

a walk so long it rubs off the sole of my shoes

my regular bus route as i listen to my favorite playlist and stare out of the closest window dramatically, the old granny that always smiles at me when she sees me on the bus stop

to take pictures of my friends in ordinary places so that i can edit it on vsco and post it on my instagram with a melodramtic line or two because i dont know how to love them less or quietly; it has to be an epilogue, always

may and i sitting on her bed with the room cold, the both of us huddled in her blanket that has texture like a curtain (we call it the curtain blanket) while i show her all of my favorite ghibli movies (but watch her the whole time because she makes these cute silly expressions)

a HUGE rib-breaking hug from kaizoku that removes all the air from my body and makes me feel like an inflated balloon and leaves me gasping for breath but which i nevertheless love every single second of

egg next to me, that’s it, more than enough to fill my whole heart and make it overflow

sitting under a tree in a park with my legs crossed with my smol laptop writing this blog post with my favorite litchi flavored drink

to photosynthesize like a plant under ample amount of sunlight but give out positive energy instead of oxygen

to go to a secondhand book store and buy books and sniff them on my way home because i love the way old books smell

reach home after night falls, tired and content with the journey of the day, looking forward to the next day as i put my head on my pillow, dreaming

ash